My Journey with the Enneagram

My Personal Journey: How the Enneagram Helped Me Love My True Self 

I’ll never forget the day I took my first Enneagram test. It seemed to be the next best party game everyone was playing. After reading all the Enneagram types, I went in confidently thinking I had it all figured out—I mean, surely I was a Type 7, right? An Enthusiast! I’d always been the one with big ideas, full of energy, chasing after the next exciting adventure. That had to be me. No question. 

But when the results came back and I saw "Type 4: The Individualist" staring at me, I froze. Wait, what? That can’t be right. Type 4? I didn’t know much about the type yet, but it didn’t feel like it fit with the version of myself I’d always believed in. I immediately felt resistant to the idea. 

But I was also deeply curious. What did the Enneagram see in me that I wasn’t seeing in myself? 

The Lake House Retreat 

So, I did what any Type 4 would do—I retreated to my lake house. I needed space to reflect, to feel, to figure out what this meant for me. I spent days sitting by the water, diving into Enneagram books, and going through everything I could find about Type 4. And let me tell you, it wasn’t an easy process. It felt raw, vulnerable, even a bit painful at times. But it was also transformative. 

The more I read about the core motivations of a Type 4—this deep desire to be authentic, to be seen for who I truly am, and this fear of being insignificant—I felt this deep pull. It was like looking in a mirror for the first time and really seeing myself. Suddenly, everything clicked. All these parts of me that I’d buried under my enthusiasm and constant busyness started to come to the surface. 

I realized I had been chasing adventure not just for the fun of it, but as a way to avoid the deeper feelings I’d always been so afraid to face. Underneath it all, I craved authenticity. I wanted to be truly seen and understood, but I was terrified of revealing those parts of myself that felt too messy, too imperfect. 

Discovering My True Self 

Those days at the lake house opened up a whole new world for me. I started to see all the parts of my true self—both the light and the shadows. I saw my unique gifts as a Type 4: my creativity, my depth, my ability to empathize with others in a way that felt real and raw. But I also saw my struggles: the tendency to withdraw when I felt misunderstood, the fear of never being truly “enough,” and the way I’d sometimes get lost in my own emotions. 

It was a lot to take in, but as I sat with it, something beautiful started to happen. I began to love those parts of myself that I had always tried to hide. I began to embrace the idea that I didn’t need to be constantly “up” or chasing after the next big thing to be worthy. I could just be—messy, imperfect, and whole. And that was enough. 

From Self-Discovery to Helping Others 

That experience was a turning point for me. It was like unlocking a door to a part of myself I had always kept locked away. But what surprised me most was how much compassion I began to feel—not just for myself, but for others too. I started seeing how the Enneagram could help everyone, no matter their type, discover their true selves. 

That’s what sparked my passion for the Enneagram. I knew I couldn’t keep this experience to myself. I wanted to help others go on the same journey—to help them find their own unique gifts, to love themselves more deeply, and to live more authentically. That’s why I became a certified Enneagram coach. 

Today, my work as a coach is driven by that same passion: to help people understand their Enneagram type, not as a label or a box to fit into, but as a tool for real self-awareness and growth. I want my clients to feel seen, heard, and accepted for who they truly are, just like I did when I first realized I was a Type 4. 

Learning to Love Your True Self 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my journey, it’s this: You are so much more than what you do, what you achieve, or how others perceive you. Real transformation happens when we get honest with ourselves, when we let go of the masks we wear and allow ourselves to be fully seen—even when it’s messy, even when it’s scary. 

The Enneagram showed me that true self-love isn’t about fixing yourself or becoming someone else. It’s about embracing who you already are, with all your unique gifts and all your imperfections. 

I’m still on this journey, just like everyone else. But now, I walk it with more self-compassion and a deeper understanding of who I am. And my greatest joy comes from helping others do the same. 

So, if you’re feeling a little unsure about the Enneagram or hesitant to dive into your type, I get it. But trust me—there’s so much waiting for you on the other side of that discomfort. Your true self is waiting to be seen, and the Enneagram can be the key to unlocking that door.